Our Own Wedding
DISCLAIMER!
This post will be written both in Bahasa and English. Also, a lot of photos attached and quite a long story as I want to share every thoughts, every details. So, please prepare your tea and make sure you have a good internet connection! x
THE OPENINGS
2020 may be the year of sorrow. Sampai Desember 2020 kita semua masih harus dihadapkan dengan kenyataan, that we have to live along with Corona. Well, well.
Yet also, 2020 is remarkable year for me because this is the year where I finally getting married <3
So, this post will tell a whole story about the wedding preparation and another obligation in between, juggling to this and that and how I handle it. Sit comfortably, y'all!
THE DECISION
I kinda forgot the exact day or month we decided to get married. For the record, 2020 was actually not the planned year for us to be married. We decide to set aside our wedding plan, then focus to finish our studies. But, the need to get together, the gut to courage us that we have to do it this year has finally pull back the plan and done to said: OK let's do this! we'll see the obstacle that we should face, no turning back.
THE PROPOSAL
If you think about the day our family met to each other in person, with flowers decorate my house and me wearing nice suit and him brought me ring and flowers like people do, well.. we don't. Saya selalu punya angan-angan untuk tidak mengadakan acara lamaran khusus di rumah beberapa bulan sebelum acara pernikahan, seperti kebanyakan orang lakukan. I just can't stand the rempongness. Males. Rather I prefer an ordinary visit, with a proper suit of me and him also with the families of us. Not a big one, just those who can represent. Both my in-laws and Ibu also agree if we just met in an easy situation. If I'm not mistaken, it should be happened someday in October 2020. But the fear of Corona virus was still there, especially for the elderly and I just can't let something bad happen to our parents. So,
Yes, we did an online visit that we called Ndodok Lawang in Java. Pertemuan ini dilakukan dengan kondisi yang sangat sederhana. But somehow I liked it. I like how technology can help us during this difficult situation.. dan betapa mau mengertinya orang tua kami untuk melakukan hal semacam ini. Seperti semua serba dimaklumi. And yes, the session was done around 45 minutes only. It optimize everything; money, time, and energy.
THE PREPARATION
The fact that I'm currently living in Jakarta, required me to remotely prepare the wedding from afar. From the beginning I just knew that it won't be easy. During the process, I always pray for not letting myself lost in control. Saya selalu berdoa untuk tidak menjadi what they called bridezilla :p memastikan komunikasi lancar dan mengupdate segala perkembangan adalah kunci kewarasan dalam mempersiapkan pernikahan! hahaha
Married on a budget is also challenging. As it just an Akad Nikah, Ibu decided not to hire a wedding organizer. She insist that our families are experience enough to handle this kind of ceremony. Well, jauh sebelum saya bertemu dengan suami, saya selalu ingin menggunakan jasa WO ketika kelak nanti saya menikah. Alasan: just like I said before, I can't stand the rempongness. But, eventually I decided not to because.. well budget might be the biggest reason. Also, it is nice to involve in the process. Of course I can't do it alone. Banyak pihak yang membantu selama prosesnya. Nggak ngerti deh gimana persiapan pernikahan kemarin tanpa orang-orang ini.. (you know who you are. Thank you so much!)
THE DETAILS
Well, let's talk about the detail.
The Dress and my appearance — When it comes to a wedding dress, I always want the simple one. No overly beads, no tail, just enough blinkies, a body—fit—mermaid—shaped in the bottom, and covered with lace That's it. There were 2 options; renting or made-to-order. Pusing banget spent some times to scrolling down an Instagram just to find the required dress for me. Kebanyakan selalu nemu yang heboh, mewah, glamour, too much beads and blinkies, no lace.. I don't know. The price was also kinda out of budget. Akhirnya dengan keberanian, diputuskanlah si wedding dress ini bikin sendiri aja. Made-to-order di penjahit langganan keluarga yang sudah tau saya dari sejak kecil. She was actually my neighbor, then move several times in different places. Her name is Bu Hetty. Terakhir, Bu Hetty pindah lagi and we had no idea where she was. Setelah kontak langsung, we finally found her new place. Apparently, she just lost her son due to some ill. She was widowed for more than 10 years and she also lost his son too recently :( Luckily, she still open for business. Ibu and I made our dress there and we both very satisfied. Saya memilih kain brokat simple dengan payet sederhana, a little blinkies on it to cover upper part of the dress. Sementara bagian bawah saya biarkan polos as it is. Made it mermaid a little in the bottom just how I want it. You can say, my wedding dress is just like an ordinary dress. Ibu was bit nervous at first because she think it was too bland. So did Tia. She lost for words when saw my wedding dress for the first time. She insist me to wear tail tile which I reject immediately. Maaf ya yak :p
To be frank, I was nervous too. I do think the dress is way more simple than I thought. Ada cerita lucu selama proses pembuatannya. Well, saya cuma bisa fitting sekali once the dress is finish, and it was 2 weeks before the wedding day. Sempit gaes! As it's a body—fit—mermaid—shaped dress, it is important to keep my body shape as it measured before. Bu Hetty bikin resleting baju belakang sedikit kurang kebawah sehingga ini pantat susah banget masuknya. Bajunya harus dipakai dari atas sehingga ngelewatin muka. I was so afraid of gain weight. Now I know why girls became crazy about their body shape for the wedding. Well, this was the answer! I never knew until I experienced it myself ya x)
Oke so the strategy is to wear the dress first, then doing make up in order to menghindari rusaknya make up karena baju harus dipakai dari atas. Di hari pernikahan.. dress ketinggalan di rumah :) Harusnya dibawa sama rombongan pertama yang berangkat.. I had no choice, I had to do make up first without my dress on it. Khawatir setengah mati! Saking khawatirnya, sampe mau di gosend-in aja deh itu bajunya. Wedding dress beauty shoot juga hampir terlewat gara-gara kejadian baju ketinggalan wkwkwk. Shortly, the dress finally arrived and once the make up was done, it's time for me to wear the dress. The moment of truth. Deg-deg an parah! But surprisingly, saya bisa make nya dari bawah. Effortlessly! Perut, pinggul, dan pantat are in shape jadinya baju bisa masuk mulus, lancar, gampang. Gila! apa karena belum makan siang kali ya! hahahah wearing kamisol also help I guess. Move to my head, Tia as my hijabdo / bestfriend came with the idea of additional veil for my head, simple headpiece and ronce melati for a touch of Indonesian pengantin.
To the toe, we talk about the shoe! I had no plan to buy wedding shoes, thus I rented. Where? I randomly found a wedding shoes rent by Sastya Anggun. I picked the shoes in the D morning, had no chance to try it, I didn't know whether it's fits or not. But fortunately it fits perfectly! Phewww!
Actually, I have no reference for the make up. I just let the MUA create whatever she wanted. All I have to do is just make sure that the eye color should be nice, inform my skin condition at that moment, and maximize the eyebrow! For those who know me, you must know that alis mata itu penting banget! x)
Overall, the final result was actually out of my curation. Way much better. Saya puas banget sama kombinasinya. Yes it might too simple for some people, but it just perfect for my wedding and I felt comfortable wearing all of the stuffs
The Tux and his appearance — Married in the hard times like this was very challenging especially because I had not much time to fit the dress. And so does my husband. Luckily, Brothers Jas then came for a virtual fitting, guided by the form, and online consultation. Alhamdulillah everything ran so easy. They even gave us extra trousers with the bigger size from the actual just in case if the small size were too tight. Oh how nice. The suit was also look fine just by touching it. It was extremely heavy tho but it still nice and fits perfectly to my husband.
Families — I choose minty color for Ibu, Mama and sisters while for brothers were simply use Batik Motif. As my husband's relatives also wore minty color dress, my bude-bude wore pink instead.
THE DECORATION
Choosing the right vendor for decoration is quite tricky. With the budget decided for the decoration, I should adjust this and that, negotiate the flowers, the package provided, and change the reference many times. From all the vendor, Everbloom is one the friendliest! Mas Wawan not only provide a service but also consult what I visualize. Super ramah, kasih banyak penyesuaian, sangat gercep. Jujur agak khawatir dengan hasil akhir karena dibanding dengan banyak vendor yang sebelumnya saya kontak, paket promo yang diberikan bisa dibilang sangat murah (cocok ya sis sama budget kita). But I told you, all of my concerns, rasa capek, sedih, sakit badan, laper, hilang waktu liat dekorasinya. Those real flowers masih seger sampai selesai acara padahal dipasang di malam sebelumnya, so it's almost 24 hours. Additional standing flowers along the aisle was also pretty. Everyone was satisfied with the result. Everything was so pretty, Alhamdulillah!
THE DOCUMENTATION
the key word
"Nanda, nanti konsep fotonya dibikin yang kayak ini ini ini ya"
"Nanda, we both so awkward in front of lens. Kami berdua bahkan nggak pernah selfie. Foto moment aja ya. Candid, candid lah"
Banda Branta brought by Ananda Widiantoro who is happen to be the friend of my high-school pal, Hanafi. As I like his style in photography, I contacted Hanafi to asked if he could helped me on my wedding day. Instead, he suggested Ananda since Hanafi was in Japan at that moment. No doubt, I directly contacted Nanda. Ananda and his friend were so kind and funny. They were so cool when I said my dress left behind so they need to wait sementara saya cemasnya bukan main x) Selama acara juga sangat bisa mengarahkan dan anaknya lucu - lucu.
Once he gave me the result, it's like reminiscing the whole process all over again. It was so representative. Susah pilihnya saking bagus-bagusnya!
THE WHOLE EVENT
Mengkurasi acara pernikahan sendiri ternyata seru juga. Despite of all the doubts, worry, and many revisions I received, I learnt that small event was also need to be well—prepared. It was also important to be willing to listen. I insisted to use my own song—playlist during the event but people told me not to. Use the proper live music. I did it and I'm thankful I listened. I insisted to asked my close friend (with no experience in hosting the process of Akad Nikah) just because he is my best. People told me not to (but coincidentally, he also wasn't able to). Hire the experienced one. I did it and I'm thankful I listened. I insisted to use big couch for the wedding venue. People told me not to instead asked me to use the smaller one. I did it and I'm thankful I listened. I insisted to simplify the seserahan with the stuffs I really need and want. People told me not to. I did it and I'm thankful I listened. I'm thankful for those who really concern and involved on each part of this wedding. It was me who just observe the previous wedding event I visited, I had no experience on it myself. So their input as orang-orang yang dituakan—sebagai bentuk respect dan menghormati—who experienced enough on wedding event themselves was legit. I'm thankful I was listen.
I always wonder how people could bare to stand for hours in a wedding just to welcomed people they don't really know. Do they feel stranger on their own wedding? They might happy but too much invitation might be confusing, no? Anyway, the circumstances indeed required me to held a small—intimate wedding event. Kinda sad tho because I had to limit the guests and let our friends watched it online. But we are so thrilled with the nice words, prayers, gifts, and support. Many of my friends surprised by my wedding because I didn't look like occupied by someone. Tiba-tiba kawin! x)
The event ran successfully in my own version. Bit missed this and that but yep, yang sempurna hanya Tuhan dan Andra and the Backbone :') The event itself was warm, easy, familiar, dan sangat-sangat tidak ingin diakhiri :') it was 2 really big family met to each other for the first time in person. This was also the first time for both of our parents. This was unusual, but I'm thankful.
SPECIAL SECTION FOR THANK YOU
Vendors — Bunch of thankyou that the fate found us each other to did the business together. None of them made me disappointed by the result at the end. I cherish the time when we negotiate, discuss, argue, and know each other better. Some people are doubt in me, but the other said salut karena semua ini dilakukan tanpa bantuan WO. I did myself contact the vendors, along the way from Jakarta and made some deal only by WhatsApp. I even just met the vendors in person for the first time while doing a final meeting preparation, it was D-5 from the wedding :')
Well, thankyou once again:
Hand bouquet and Decoration: Everbloom | Groom Tuxedo: Brothers Jas | Bride Wedding Dress: Ibu Hetty | MC: Irvan Dafana | Venue & Catering: All Stay Hotel Semarang | Wedding Shoes: Sastya Anggun | Seserahan: Sarah Amalia | Photos: Banda Branta | Music: Hari Manu Sound and Music | Make Up: Verasty Make Up & Kiki Make Up | Hijab & Hairdo: my dear best friend Hertiana | Veil: Bulan Grahani | Wedding Ring: Rockologist | Nails: Amoori Nail Bar | Souvenirs: Handmade by Ibu <3
Managers and Teams — This long process of wedding preparation won't be happened without my managers who allow us to change the schedule of work and granted us days-off. This process was start from their kindness. Also, those who make sure everything ran well in the office without my presence, the Sales Ecosystem team. I can't thank you enough.
Annisa, Hertiana, Ridho — Sebagai orang-orang pertama yang tahu saya akan menikah, tempat curhat, mengeluh, dan bertanya. Ikut mondar-mandir dari ujung Semarang ke ujung lainnya. Nemenin dari awal sampai akhirnya jalan ke meja akad. Ikut repot dan dimintain tolong berkali-kali :') ah mau nangis! God bless you for your true kindness, dear friend.
Siblings — Tempat curhat juga khusus yang hal berat wkwkwk assist me in an administrative things while in Semarang. Direpotin juga pas hari H.
Keluarga Bandung dan Semarang — To my big family, the old ones and the new ones. Restu, doa, harapan, kehadiran, bantuan, dan kado-kado yang sangat sangat sangat berguna for the married life. Thank you so much.
Friends — Atas ucapan dan kado-kado yang juga gemes dan berguna banget :') kenapa ya orang pada baik-baik sama saya dan suami? What we've done to deserve friends like you? You know who you are. We both even think we are not a good friends to you these whole time. Bahkan ada teman yang udah lama nggak ketemu tetep kirim kado :') Luthfi yang jauh ada di Riyadh juga ikut kirim. Why so kind :') Teman-teman kuliah suami, anak-anak kantor, etc. I wish you guys a wealthy and healthy life ahead. Semoga semua kebaikan diberkahi kembali oleh Tuhan ya guys!
And for the last but the foremost, the loving, caring, and generous people of all, orang-orang yang sungguh besar dan lapang hatinya, our parents. Ibu, Papa, dan Mama. Too bad Alm. Abah and Almarhumah Mama Helen cannot be with us that night, but I'm sure they were there somewhere — Keseluruhan proses ini tidak akan terjadi tanpa restu dan seizin Ibu, Papa, dan Mama (well, I'm gonna cry). Saya sampai kebingungan bagaimana cara membalas kebaikan dan kelapangan hati beliau-beliau ini. Once I asked Ibu, how to do, beliau cuma jawab ya cukup inget Ibu aja terus. Makin bingung guys :') But I make sure to her that I will always put her in my prayer, for her wealth, her health, her old days which is not so easy as it look, serta ketenangan hatinya (OK I'm cryin'). My husband told me that Pa and Ma once said sorry to him atas segala keterbatasan dalam rencana pernikahan ini. My heart break instantly. For after all the things they gave us, something that we don't know we could give them back, they still asked us for a sorry (crying again). Kenapa ya udah sebaik dan semurah hati itu kepada kami tapi masih minta maaf dan merasa bersalah atas kurangnya mereka? :') what a big hearth they have. Kok bisa ya punya hati sebesar itu :') (crying again #2)
THE CLOSING
People always said that marriage is not a finish line, instead it's a starting line for everything. I start living for 2 persons (or more in the future) from now on. Krisha is no longer my boyfriend, he is a husband for me now, the man of the house, the lead character to my children and my family. Kadang masih sulit untuk saya mencerna dan menyadarkan diri bahwa a man who stick along with me, fight for a small blanket every night is now my husband. I have a husband, y'all! I am no longer a lady who can freely go there and there as I used to without the permission of my husband. I have to put everyone else after my husband. This new title also still confusing to him hahah he also still can't believe and felt awkward sometimes. This is a big leap in our life. We cannot runaway from arguments, fights, different thoughts. We face it and compromise to it. My brother told us before we left the house
Didalam pernikahan itu, kalau ada masalah besar diperkecil. Kalau ada masalah kecil, ilangin. Rebutanlah kalian minta maaf.
So here we are, to have each other's back.
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