Jakarta 101: A Newcomer

2018 marks the year when I finally take a big leaps and moving out from my hometown. A humble hometown (not anymore, actually), with all of those loving folks and friends for 25 years. A new job requires me to be in the capital city of Indonesia, in the Northern of Jakarta. People told me that Jakarta is not a good place for living. The traffic, the lifestyle, the people, the air, that unhealthy work-life balance, the pressure. YOU NAME IT. Plus it's 459++ Km far away from home.

Those thoughts got me thinking and slightly raises some doubts on myself
"Can I living that kind of life?"
"Am I able to live faraway from my mom?"
"How if the people are cruel indeed?"
"How if no one gonna accept someone like me"
"Can I compete with those ambitious people?"
"It such a big city. So big I could lost"
"Everything are so expensive. Can I still manage to save some of my money?"

It was so intimidating. I freaked out. Those questions are still running around in my head. On and off, all the times. I still adapt with my new job. It actually the same job I used to have 2 years ago, but as you can see, different company means different rules and policy. I still adapt with new friends who are all seniors. I still don't know how to do at work. I still analyzing and keep my eyes open of how do we work in a daily basis. I still have no must-to-go food stall in my desperate what-to-eat-today moment, except Warung Indomie nearby (thank God I found it). I still remembering the road I need to take to the city center and the way back. I lost like a dumb yesterday. I make it to the place I had an appointment but then decided to went back, because at the end of the day the meeting was pointless. I already tired, no one tried to pick me up, and my phone was dead = no google maps which is mean I was die. Well it was my fault actually, so yeah. I need to called my friend to pick me up and drove me back home. I was such like a big baby almost crying on the side of the road. What the fuck.

My sister once told me before I left, that all the good and bad, the hard and the ease, sad or happy are all in my prayers. Yes I prayed for this. I wanted this. I need to know, am I really able to go through this. I need to prove myself about what people said to me before I left. Yes I met traffic but not the crazy one, and not everyday. I've seen worst back in my hometown. Luckily, my office is just 5 minutes away from where I live and as I said, I live in the Northern side of the city. Yes I'm so sa that I have to live separately from my mom and my cats. I spent a day just crying and didn't know how to do on the first days. I tried to maintain it and promise to myself that I cannot be sad that much, because it's tiring and I need to focus. Yes I met cruel people at the shop. So cruel they make up the price for me. What a dick. Thank God, I just need to meet them one time. I met good people in my hard times, the security man when I got lost yesterday, mpok-mpok warteg, aak aak Warung Indomie, my senior at the office, my friends who currently living here and helped me a lot. Those are the things that need to be thankful for. 

I don't know how long I could be last. I'm already afraid thinking about it, but I tried to loose it up and let the day brings me where it should be. I just need to be strong and focus. 

PS: If some of you guys think I might be playing around and having too much fun in the city on the weekend, think again. It sucks to stay at home alone, and do not know how to spend it. Going outside maybe the way to keep sane. 


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