It's 2 hours away to 2018 and here I am sitting on my room, writing down what I've been through during 2017 to reminiscing what was bad, and what was good.

Not like any typical new year's eve I used to had, today is about myself. I'd like to take my time to think about what was going on in 2017. I sums-up this year as a roller coaster, especially on my career. I kick-off the year with an opportunity to watched Coldplay's live concert in Singapore and I can barely remember any other things better in early 2017 until I hit the mid year and decided to finish my career as a Business Analyst.

Well, I must say that this year is a turning point on my career, a year of taking risk. After spent 2 years in IT & Business Consulting Company, I took my chance to be in another business. I just think that I deserve some new things in my career. Big company was my destination to settle down. But somehow, I ended up in a Creative Industry Business; the field that I always dream of to work at. It is not that bad after all but still, it's hard to adapt in a new business, new culture, and new salary - even for Pisces. But so far, I enjoy the job and I've learned many things already and I cannot wait for more knowledge to absorb.

During my job-search period, I spent months questioning about self-values. So many 'why' questions that ruined my optimism, yet create new perspectives (one of the 'new thing' that I wish I could find). I shared some thoughts with my friend who had the same issues like mine (actually) but I never realized as he is so smart to hide it, that I need to learn from him :p

So that was my year. I was kidding when I said I can barely remember any other things better in early 2017 hahahaha of course I had many happy things during 2017! But it must be too cliches to write down here. One thing for sure, I will embrace this year with a grateful feeling no matter what, as I survived another year in this world as a rookie. I'll make it count, won't waste. Good health and wealth awaits insyaAllah.. 

Happy New Year, 

Fira x

I am not sure what I'm going to talk in this post. I just want to write from long time ago, and today is finally the day :)

I currently facing the truth that I am growing every single day. Some changes feel so strange and not acceptable (well I'm still trying to get used to it, tho), some other are finally open my mind, my eyes, and my perspective about how you manage the risk of your own-big-decision. My days are completely colored by worry, anxiety, and uncertainty of the future, yet the other side I found the joy that I've been waiting.

Source: Pinterest

Decided to go out from my comfort zone, try different circle, freely choose where I will spend the day to work is really challenging to me. Today I might be cry a lot like a teenage kid losing her popularity, and the next day I completely become different person; open, relax, and let everything goes like a river. I constantly asking myself, define about the decision I took, and try to find the answer;

is this the right decision or wrong one? 

I fight and questioned myself about this kind of stupid wonders almost every single day to find the best answer (up until now, even though not as much as I used to). It spent lots of my energy, my mind filled by negativity and I pulled myself from everyone. I become several kind of person as the days goes by. 

Born and raised in a spiritual family, has taught me that hope can only assigned to the Almighty. But it is not easy when the thing that (seemed) really into you, is eventually not belong to you. It is hard if I have to reminiscing the effort and then knowing the fact that it still not enough. Sometimes I wish people should created without having a wishful thinking, and let everything goes on its way. Because it feel awful defeated for many times. It grow endless self-disappointment, causing me trying to find wrong thing in this personality. 

Remember that I pulled myself from everyone? Yes even my best friend. I didn't feel that we are in the same line anymore. Everything felt like a competition of what we become right now. How awful the way I thought! I am not sure if I could back on track, but I finally tried to open to the person I trust and wise enough to encourage. Yes it help, but still, life is trying to dance around with me in uncertainty 

Manage the negativity to not overpowering is exhausting, yet I am still struggling to digest every good and bad pieces in my mind. But at the end, I lead my own way. I (should) know how and where to sail.

I am sitting on the bench, at 11.20 pm with my cat in front of me, laying and playing on a very cheap earphone I got from City Tour Double Decker when in Singapore. I just catch up with the dudes just like the old times. Ridho is going to Jakarta while Umar and Handy are back to hometown during the weekend.This is the mid week of August and I know that my hormones are up. Means that I will be more sentimental for every little thing across my mind. This time, is my cat. 

I went home and found that she was laying on the cupboard, meow-ed at me asked for a stroke over her body. She is very spoiled since I came back from Yogya last week. I guess she directly know that I was not in a good mood for the past five days. 

Well, this months is exactly a year since the first time she become my family member. I said so because she is. Manyun is not the first cat I have, but she is definitely the precious one. She is my love, my savior. OK I may start overrated but at least that's what I felt about her. I have many cats and another pets before her. Golden fish, Lou Han Fish (Dad's, actually), my twin-fat hamsters, chicken, and of course cats. They have special bond with me, all of them especially the cats. I named all of them even though I forgot some of theirs. I only remember Kopet; a-poopy-black and white-cat that ran away and eventually came back when she is old and fatter after years of missing from home, Blacky and Blacky's mom. They spent many years with me and had their own story in my heart.

Actually, I always want to have a pet (a serious one) since I got occupied. It means that I can take care of my pet with my own money; buy good food, bring them to a salon to make them pretty, vaccine, and regularly check on a Vet just to make sure they are health and clean from any viruses. But earlier, I felt that I was not ready yet as I just started my career and came home very late at the beginning. Finally, I got Manyun right after I broke up with my boyfriend, and there she was coming into my life when I had so much love to give. I was sad but not that much because of her. I forgot about how easy my relationship has ended because I was too focus on her. She is the right-time-distraction.


 Left side; he likes to - what I called - Semende, when I mad. Right side; starring at the nail of cicak!

 Climb on the roof 

Pretty BB! 

Manyun is a middle-race-cat, maybe a british short hair or persian mix (maybe), owned by my college friend, Desta. She has probably 5 cats at her home and Manyun is the first generations I suppose. Desta looked for a new parents for her cats because it was 5 cats already. So its getting too many for her house. She actually didn't plan to give Manyun but other cat, but finally she decided to gave Manyun as the another cat she planned give to me, already stole her mom-friend's heart.

According to Desta, Manyun is an adventurous cat. She likes to see the chicken, stare at birds, eager to go outside the house and discovered it. She is kinda shy with new people. She will prefer to hide and stay away from stranger. 

 art enthusiast

 I need to change my Sajadah for so many times. Mas Nanang mad at me because of this xD 

 First days at home. She was hiding and I cried because I thought she was gone but then she come up just like that hahah 

I adopt Manyun by bartering a pack of cat's food for Desta's cats. After a drama of a wrongly-brought food cat (haha, I was so broke) we finally arrived at Desta's home in a uptown. Ridho and Erin accompanied me to took her at that day. I was so nervous. I was afraid if Manyun doesn't like me, frightened, or mad at me. Well, I must said it was like love at the first time. I love her since the first time I saw her fluffy-white hair, her eyes, and how fat she was. She was afraid, tho. As I said, she was bit afraid with stranger, or I can said she is not friendly with new people. Desta's mom told me about Manyun's behaviour, and advice me several things I need to know about her. I saw Desta's mom was bit teary while kissing her goodbye, when I asked for leave and brought Manyun with me. Oh God.. 

 This is the first time I took Manyun home. That shirt cleaned so many times to remove her hairs. So many hair! 

First day at home when she finally start to eat. I snap this and send to Desta


That is my Mom's yarn over her head!

Manyun still afraid on the first days. She dehydration along the way home since the AC was off on the car haha. I was so panic to be frank! It was the first time for me, watching a cat dehydration and sticking out the tongue just like a dog. I never thought! I was like totally newbie. I never pet a race-cat. People said that race-cat need an extra treatment; from food, hair, etc! I freaked out. She didn't want to eat at the first day. I asked Desta what should I do. I freaked out until I wrongly bought a cage for her. It was supposed to a cat cage but I bought a massive bird cage instead! Stupid to the next level. 

 Punishment day after ran away at midnight

 Malam Lebaran. Sleep over time! 

 Kissu kissuuuu 

 Not good. Sit over my Instax Photo

 First time chilling at the Rooftop Bond

 Truuu tick and thin 
 Cuddling after I got back from Yogya for duties 

 Cat walk 

 Lust wkwkwkw 

Making friend with the bird

I remember brought her to a different pet shop to took a shower. It was the second month she was with me and I didn't have time to brought her to the Vet for her first Vaccination. She might not protected/fit yet so it was easily for her to be infected to a diseases as she was still adapting the downtown temperature. The pet shop put her in a regular cage with another cat and unfortunately didn't dry her ear properly after taking a bath. She got Otitis or ear infection. Doctor said it caused by wet ear after taking a bath or got flea from another cats. I read an article told me that there should be no water coming into ear's cat, otherwise it can caused a diseases. I never put my cat in this pet shop before, so I can guess that this came from how they treat my cat. 

 When she was sick :'( 

 Chilling on the Roof! (literally) 

 Day 1! Still fluffy 

 Making friend with Ibu 

 I had the rough day at office. She came to me and cuddling 

 Our first Instant Picture! 

 Making friend with Klawu after they didn't make it to Making Love :p 

 Was about to eat flowers from Zulfa 

I blame myself when I saw Manyun sick. I cried in a vet even though Doctor said Manyun was OK. I was afraid I am not good owner for Manyun. I am afraid if she died. What should I said to Desta!? I can't stop crying on the way home. She was so limp, and didn't want to eat or drink anything, and just sleep inside the cage. Doctor's said I need to 'force' her to eat otherwise she won't getting better. I feed her with instant baby porridge. I forced her to eat and had her syrup and vitamins and I cried while I doing it. I sit in front of her cage a felt guilty at that night hahaha

I never felt something like this before. I love this cat so much. She just like my baby. I can't hide my happiness when she get back to her condition. I kept her get her vaccine every month a whole year until she is ready for an annual vaccine start next year. 

Storage BB! 

Morning walk after long night conversation with Mas Rio 

I remember I was so mad at her. She poo almost everywhere in my house, and I need to mop the floor overnight and poo again in the morning eleswhere. People in the house mad at me and say something bad about my cat. I stressed at office and mad at the same time with my cat. So mad until I yelled at her, and hit her in the back (I am so sorry Manyun I was so mad you were so nuts!). She frightened and I punished her with a one-day on a cage, then I just left to office. In the mid day I was remember how cruel I was to her. I drove back to home during break time just to see her and said sorry. I drove around 20km away just to met her, open the cage, and said sorry then came back to office :') How guilt I was. I told above that Manyun is so agile and adventurous. 

She will ran to the doors if she saw its opened in the morning. Around 7 am, she usually comeback. We once accidentally open the door at 2 am and she just ran away in the darkness. I was panic and get out from the house and cried while calling her name. I waited in front the door until 4 am and she came back by herself xD then I cried again! 

Manyun is part of the family. At least that's what I thought. Someone once said that having a pet is a lifetime-commitment. We have to willing to throw away the poo, clean up the pee, and do so many things and be responsible the this creature. Manyun is also my stress-reliever. Stroke her hair, cuddling, or just see her eyes weider if she caught moving object gives me joy. She likes to catch cicak. She got 3 mouses in our house and left only a head in front of the door(I BROUGHT HER TO THE PET SHOP AFTERWARDS  I SWEAAAAR! OMG SHE IS TRULLY KILLER!) 

 Making friend with Aksa 

Manyun is always with me 24/7. I spent quiet much money just to feed her with the best cat food. I brought her every month to a pet shop for grooming as I can't handle it by my own (she is very strong she hurt my back with her claws when I tried to shower her by myself!) 
I got irritated if someone said something bad about cats generally, such as 'cats brings lot of diseases' or 'the hair is not good for child' or 'its not good for productive-woman'. Note this; as long as the cats well treated, vaccine, regularly shower, clean/cut her claws, eat good-nutritious food, well environment then cats are OK for everybody (except for those with allergic). Just make sure to wash your hand/feet after cuddling with them. She always woke me up at night around 2 am for food. She climb the door and begging for an outdoor walk in the morning. She opened my room and cuddling at night. She meow-ed so loud at my face in the morning to woke me up for work (no, she actually begging for morning walk or food. Still). She follow and accompanied me Solat and make me changed my Sajadah for so many times. She poo and pee on my bed so many times,  she yelled during the night when she Lust. She follows me when I up to the second floor or go down. She laying in front of me asking for a cuddle. 

 Long Live the Queen!
Tombo Ati 

I let her do the way she has to do as a cat, as long as I keep her clean afterwards. She is kind a house-cat but I can't handle it when she want to go out. Believe me or not, I have always been saying "main sana. jangan jauh jauh. nanti pulang lagi" before I let her go. I talked to her when I have no one to talk. I cried to her when I had a bad days. I discuss with her when I have difficult decision. 

FYI Manyun means grim or cemberut in Bahasa. I was plan to change her name at the beginning. But I just let it like this after all. It's fit with her character as she is not friendly hahahaha people at my home also call her pesek in Javanese, or it means flat-nose 

I look forward for more years with Manyun. Even though I may not be at home as 24/7 as I used to be in the future, but I hope she will doing fine with my Mom. Mom has my heart, and so does my family, and so does Manyun. Never a day I missed without hug her. She might not as fluffy as the first time she came here because it's hotter than the uptown but I will do everything just to make sure that she is happy, eat good food, healthy, clean, and live a better life as a cat. You guys who are not a "cat-people" might not understand or think that I am just way toooo overrated. Well, I just really don't care, anyway.

Manyun is more than a pet pet to me. She is my girl, my friend, and my fluffy-family member. 



Went to a gig is one of the way for me to re-energized myself. I've been so struggle these few days at office. Been one of my hard days, if I am selfishly saying. I told to my friend that I need to watched one of really good gig/music event, and sing along in between stranger. One of the gig that I've been waiting for was MLDSpot Intimate Tour; 3 Cerita 1 Ruang. The artist are Kunto Aji, Eva Celia, and Jordy Waelauruw. I was so excited because I looked forward for another gig of Eva Celia since the first time I watched her perform on UrbanGig in Semarang, several months ago. As I didn't know that this concert is limited, and the pre-sale ticket need to buy online (and already sold out), so the only chance I got was to buy normal ticket price which is little bit pricey to me, seriously. I mean I know this one is intimate-gig-concept and the guest were limited, but no matter how I craved I was to see Eva's live perform; I would think twice to attend this event. Well.. priority :p 

But then I saw one of my friend's post on Path told that TraxFM Semarang was about to give 4 free tickets to this event. No need to hesitate, I just directly tried my luck! The question was so random hahaha then I replied with normal answer instead and it was an honest thought; that I had to bring my Tumblr on that gig because I used to felt thirsty after sang along. And that's it, that's all. 

In the next morning I had to go to office while it should be a day off of Vesak Day. Office regulation state that the day off has switched so we will had long weekend start from Friday. I was on purpose to listen on Trax that morning, hopefully it was my luck to be chosen as one those 4 lucky winner. Almost 9 am but there's no clue that I would be called. Then I decided to turn off my streaming because I'd like to had a call meeting with my Manager. The online streaming was suck, anyway. Right after call meeting with Manager, I checked on my Instagram and TADAAAAAA!! I got it! People from Trax FM DMed me! Hahahaha Alhamdulillah x) 

Long story short, I attend the event. I started my morning by dropped by to a coffee shop (didn't order coffee by the way since it make me sick haha), swimming, dropped at office, then off I go. I was literally alone until I met Mas Fajar from Trax FM and met new friend inside the venue, it was Mbak Kristin who also came alone. The event only provide around 100+ seats that are freely chosen. There're several seat reserved actually but you can pick yours wherever you'd like to sit. Lucky me I got high chair at the back so I can see clearly the perform, unhindered from another guests (you know I am a tiny girl) 

It was such a gooooood night. I really felt the 'intimate' as there are not plenty of people, not like big stage gig I used to watched. The event itself was held in Semarang Art Gallery, which is one favorite place in Semarang. So happy that my favorite track was played; Buka Buka Buka, Mercusuar, Pengingat, A Stranger Kind of Longing, Another You, Mother Wound, Romans 12:2 (favorite!!!), and Reason. To be honest, this is my first time listened and met Jordy Waelauruw. From my reserach, he once worked with Bayu Risa! Well I love Bayu Risa. I didn't expect to interested to his song but I am! It was such a different style *brb go to Spotify x) 

Well, it was one of my highlight on May this year, I count it as a blessing. Can't say thank you enough for TraxFM. I never thought I am so lucky. I am happy because it is the perfect timing for me, really :) God bless you, Trax FM Semarang! Looking forward to next gig, shall we?

Friday I am in love xx